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Fat Girl Dating Advice 2 08 – Five plus-size women share their dating experiences. The internet is full of stories about women being horrifically fat -shamed or harassed on dating sites, and yes, those stories need to be told. But they’re not the. Husky men often transition into chubby husbands date fat fathers, mostly because women tend to be more forgiving about dating a fat guy in general.
A reasons. A thin bitchy girl or a nice fat girl? Men are not interested. And why? Add a few extra layers of fat to that. It’s easy to understand why: A bigoted fear of fat bodies colors interactions between plus-size women. How these men reacted to ‘hot’ blonde turning up FAT on Tinder date will.
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Come to think about it, the very expectation of not being accepted is already suffering in itself. The reality is not that simple. There are also people who are ok or downright love some extra flesh on their lovers. What does it have to do with your dating experience specifically? How is it even relevant?
My name is Stephanie and I am a member of all the dating apps. We all know that dating — either online or IRL — in this day and age can be an absolute cesspit of annoyance and despair. So I always thought that to cut down on the timewasting, ghosting and potential inappropriate messaging, it would be easier to connect with people on apps featuring specific themes or hobbies you have in common.
For me, I suppose that would mean joining dating apps where my specific body type was the preference, as opposed to a hindrance. My question is though; why can we not have our own fat version of OkCupid, Match. Having been a member of the app for over a year, my experiences using it has been quite horrid — to say the least. Despite the app trying to separate itself from its fetish-y counterparts, they still somehow make their way in.
On an everyday basis, we are routinely dehumanised to the point of humiliation, and because we are not treated with the same level of basic human decency, love and respect as everyone else, we are automatically reduced to our body parts and are objectified as such. We are mere vessels to be used for the fun, humiliation and sexual pleasure of others and I suspect that people do not see us as human beings who also crave forming tight bonds with others, relationships, security and love.
To this day, I still often hear stories online from plus-size women who have been shamed or policed by others for having an attractive partner, or for having a partner at all. As chubby children, we were often told to be seen as attractive to others and find love, we would need to slim down. Why must I log into a conventional dating app and state on my profile that I am indeed, fatter IRL despite adding a series of drop-dead gorgeous full-length photos to my profile?
For there to be any change, society needs to wake up and realise that fat people do not exist for the sexual pleasure, humiliation and abuse of others. Fat women are treated with so much contempt and are routinely dehumanised and mistreated to the point where we are seen as the butt of all jokes when it comes to dating.
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Is it too much to ask for a dating app to put plus-sized women first?
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Skip navigation! Story from Relationships. When it comes to dating, I was something of a late bloomer. Around the time my friends started losing their virginities and acquiring partners, I alternated between feeling too ashamed of my fat body even to consider letting anyone else see it and presuming that no one would want to look at me naked in the first place. Fast-forward to early university and the discovery of fat acceptance communities online, and I started dipping my toe into the metaphorical hook-up pool.
Finding people who seemed totally at ease with the nuances of my fatness, on the other hand, might prove a little trickier. I encountered folks who seemed to avoid any contact with my stomach, as if my belly were the Loch Ness Monster arising from the ocean or from under my shirt to eat them whole. In , I began making profiles on fat-specific dating websites and apps.
That is, platforms specifically targeted at fat people and our ‘admirers’. I knew the stereotypes and concerns surrounding these apps. Even within fat-positive circles, there sometimes runs a deep distrust of fat fetishism. Fat fetishists are often branded as individuals who want nothing more than to, well, fetishise a fat person usually nonconsensually. Many fat people have experienced dehumanisation in this context.